****wits who refuse to give their address

Went to buy some hay today. The joy of finding some so cheap was
completely lost in the frustration caused by the woman who would not -
despite repeated requests - give me her address. Just rambling
directions filled with what not to do, where not to go, what you
shouldn't be able to see etc etc etc.

"You'll pass the old Maloney place where they used to have trotters,
but they're not there anymore and I don't know who took the place." <-
how the **** does that help me?

"4 or 5 kays down that road you should see a left. If you start going
up a hill you've gone too far." <- the reality of that one was "drive
the entire length of the road (8km) until you hit a t-intersection.
Then turn left. If you start going up a hill it means you drove across
the intersection, broke someone's fence and are now driving on their
property."

I could go on, but I've vented enough now :-)