A Genuine Unadulterated Loser, Lardwellyn W. (Bill) Hughes III

On Thu, 3 Apr 2008 17:56:26 -0800,  "Superman Hughes Troll and s***
bag" <BillHughes@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:

Manipulation:


The way narcissists (and psychopaths) interact with others makes them
extremely potent manipulators. How potent? So potent that their powers
of manipulation are spooky and seem downright magical. 

How does the way they interact with others make them such expert
manipulators? Because practice makes perfect, and they have been
practicing the art of manipulation in every interaction since birth. 

Indeed, in playing to the mirror of your face, that's what they're
doing, isn't it? Manipulating you. Everything they say and do is
entirely for effect, to get the reaction they want from you. That IS
manipulation. 



They're regulating, manipulating your reactions. But you aren't like
them. Your reactions come from within. So, what are they ultimately
regulating and manipulating? Your thoughts. Manipulation is mind
control. 

Manipulation is a subtle thing. So subtle that we are usually unaware
of being manipulated, unless the manipulator blows it and breaks the
spell. So, manipulators are putting thoughts into our heads that we
think are ours. A very dangerous thing. 

Since a narcissist isn't acting on normal human premises, since all he
is doing is playing you for the reaction he wants, truth is
irrelevant. Truth or lies — it's all the same to him. Whichever works.
Usually that's lies. 

It would be more correct to say that there is no such thing as truth
to a narcissist. Because there is no such thing as truth when playing
Pretend. That's why narcissists and psychopaths beat lie detector
tests. (In fact, so do many people from "shame" cultures where lying
to save face of oneself, one's family, one's tribe, and one's religion
is considered morally necessary and expected.) 

Psychopaths are known to get so good at manipulating people that, by
the time they're teenagers, they routinely fool and manipulate mental
healthcare professionals, judges, prison officials, parole boards, and
social workers who know they are psychopaths, are on the lookout for
attempts to manipulate them, and should be immune to manipulation. 

It isn't a matter of intelligence: it's a matter of practice,
experience. This is because most of what transpires in interaction
happens too quickly to think it through. 

In playing to the mirror of your face, the narcissist receives a
steady stream of your feedback to the steady stream of words and body
language he sends. He continuously reacts to every nuance of it in
"real time," if you will. A sideways glance from you might make him
alter his choice for the next word in the sentence he is saying. Or
his facial expression or tone of voice. Or it might make him take a
step closer to you. 

So, no matter how cunning a manipulator is, he isn't consciously
analyzing your every slight reaction and fine-tuning his act to it. I
say that because he can't be. That would be impossible, because no one
could think that fast. 

He must be relying on a lifetime of experience at this game, reacting
habitually in certain ways to certain things he observes in you on the
fly. In other words, this manipulation must be rather like the act of
hitting a forehand in tennis. 

You cannot consciously think your way through the stroke. Too many
things are happening too fast. In fact, you will botch your stroke and
be lucky to even connect with the ball if you try to consciously think
your way through with "Watch the ball ... bend your knees ... keep
your arm straight ... keep your head still ... step into the shot ...
et ad infinitum." Well, that's exaggerating a bit, because there are
only about 100 instructions I could list for hitting a forehand ;-) 

You can't think that fast. No one can. So, you must practice that
stroke enough under varying conditions to program the unconscious
centers of the brain to execute it virtually automatically. When you
net your shot or hit it out (provided you note how far off the shot
was), your "program" is revised to get the bug out. 

This phenomenon is called Natural Learning. It's how we learn to walk
and talk. 

That "program" isn't just a fixed set of muscle commands from the
brain. It's an interactive program like a computer program. Because no
two forehands are the same. Yet the more you practice, the better your
forehand program, and the more effectively it faithfully produces a
good forehand under widely varying conditions. You have only to make
the major decisions, such as where and how to hit the ball: speed,
spin, and placement. But Natural Learning is so powerful that even
tactical decisions become virtually automatic in advanced players.
Hence the best players in the world do very little conscious thinking
while the ball's in play. 

The power of Natural Learning is also illustrated by comparing
experienced drivers with young drivers. Young drivers have no
experience, so they must think their way through problems. Result?
Crash. But with the same problem an experienced driver has no problem.
He or she spontaneously makes an intuitive, instinctive move faster
than the speed of thought. Result? No crash.

When playing to the mirror of your face, that must be what a
narcissist is mostly doing — relying on a lifetime of experience that
allows him to react instinctively to every bit of feedback he gets
from you. That's how he fine-tunes your reactions into the feedback he
wants. Rather like turning the knobs on a short-wave radio. 

This is manipulation. And it's occurring faster than the speed of
thought, because a narcissist has had so much constant practice at
drawing the look he wants that most of his "moves" are virtually
automatic. 

This is why, I think, narcissists seem like machines with their
knee-jerk reactions to things. But those reactions aren't knee-jerk
reflexes: they are learned through experience to the point that they
become habitual as second nature. 

This is also why, I think, we tend to overestimate the intelligence of
narcissists, psychopaths, con artists, and other manipulators like
dictators who con their way to power. We think they must be brilliant
to be so manipulative. But even a stupid narcissist I knew was
extremely manipulative. Their skill is the fruit of constant practice
at manipulation in every human interaction. 

But it doesn't pay to underestimate them, either. That same practice
makes them extremely observant and perceptive. Over time that will
improve their intelligence, at least some aspects of it. 

In fact, they are much more observant and perceptive than they seem.
That's because all they're interested in is what they can use. So,
though they block out much, what they do choose to see, they see very
well. They are interested in your reactions, not you. So, they
probably are more aware of how you react to things than you are. But
the only information about you they're interested in is what that can
use to exploit you. The rest they filter out of consciousness =
forget. 

So, never think that you are too smart to be manipulated by a
narcissist, psychopath, or con artist. You aren't. And you surely can
never beat one at his own game. 

That's nothing to be ashamed of. It just means that you are an
innocent who hasn't spent his or her whole life practicing the black
art. So, you won't win that game.

--


“A winner makes commitment. A loser makes promises.”

“The path of least resistance is the path of the loser.”