A Genuine Unadulterated Loser, Lardwellyn W. (Bill) Hughes III

On Sat, 5 Apr 2008 01:47:37 -0800,  "Superman Hughes Troll and s***
bag" <BillHughes@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:

You Are an Object:



An infant in a crib is unaware of the fundamental difference between
people and the other objects that revolve around it in its world. Both
its mother and the mobile overhead are just objects to it. It quickly
learns that when it cries, the mother-object appears and fulfills all
its needs. Ooh, power! 

So, it uses its vocal chords as a remote control for the
mother-object. 

It assumes that the mother-object exists for its sake. It quickly
learns how to operate the mother-object. It pushes the buttons on her
control panel largely through big demonstrations of displeasure
whenever she does not anticipate and fulfill its needs in advance. She
is just one object in a world that revolves around it, for it. Mark
Twain delightfully reminds us of what we are at this stage of human
development: 

 I do not remember my first lie, it is too far back; but I remember my
second one very well. I was nine days old at the time, and had noticed
that if a pin was sticking in me and I advertised it in the usual
fa****on, I was lovingly petted and coddled and pitied in a most
agreeable way and got a ration between meals besides. It was human
nature to want to get these riches, and I fell. I lied about the pin —
advertising one when there wasn't any. You would have done it; George
Wa****ngton did it, anyone would have done it. During the first half of
my life I never knew a child that was able to rise above that
temptation and keep from telling that lie.  
  
    — Mark Twain



A narcissist remains forever such an infant. His world revolves around
him. The people in it are but objects for him to use and control —
existing for his sake, not their own. Like levers on a control panel
or tools to be damaged through heavy use or livestock to be consumed.
There to fulfill his needs and enhance his image. Beyond that, they
have no im****tance. It never occurs to him that he owes them anything
in return or that he should consider the effects of his actions on
them. 

An object has no feelings. It is not a person. It is not even a being
in the usual sense of the word. You might grab an object like a
screwdriver and abuse it by using it to pry something open, knowing
that by using it this way you might break it. But you think nothing of
breaking a screwdriver. Damaging that screwdriver is nothing. There
are plenty more where that one came from. 

The only thing that matters is what you want = getting open that thing
you're trying to pry open with the screwdriver. 

That screwdriver is of no account. It would be absurd to regard it as
a having a right to better treatment. In fact, it has no right to be:
it exists for your sake, for you to use and abuse as you please. It's
basically just an extension of yourself, a tool, an executioner of
your will, not its own. 

That's what YOU are to a narcissist. 

Narcissists (and psychopaths) just use other people, all other people.
Any way they please. In other words, they don't relate to other
people. Which is an abbreviated way of saying that they don't relate
to other human beings as a human being. 

To relate to other human beings as a human being (i.e., humanly), you
have to be a human being. You must experience your own humanity and
know it. Only then can you recognize the image and likeness of
humanity in others and relate to it in them as our common humanity —
something we share with all other human beings, even mortal enemies.
We relate to it. 

Relating to it IS humanity. Otherwise known as empathy. It's what
prompts soldiers who were fighting ferociously a minute ago to kneel
down and tenderly care for the enemy's wounds. In fact, because the
extremity of battle often makes it hard to switch gears the moment the
fighting stops, humanity toward the fallen foe was regarded as the
Christian soldier's highest virtue. In Italian it is called pieta,
which sublimely shows that piety and pity (empathy) are two sides of
the same coin. 

But ours isn't the only species that relates in a special manner to
its own kind. Many species of higher animals do. And it's easy to see
why: that's how Nature keeps them from preying on their own kind (as
sometimes happens, especially among lower species of animals). Even
when they do fight, once one contestant for what they're fighting over
backs off, the fight is instantly over and all hostility vanishes. 

So, though remembering our humanity in extreme and unnatural
situations like combat may be a virtue, normally it's no virtue at
all. It's just natural. 

But it's a learned behavior. 

To illustrate: You've certainly seen a toddler delighted with some
chick or puppy or bunny or other cute little animal you place before
her. Then, on a whim, she shocks you by grabbing a stick and pounding
the poor thing. The look in her eyes is the most shocking part —
nothing there but fascination with the effect she's having on it =
fascination with its agony. 

Picture an adult instead, and you are watching a psychopath or other
narcissist. 


 The narcissist feels entitled, and when he is thwarted, he acts out,
just as young children, who are supremely narcissistic, act out.
"Think of a toddler raging against an object that won't do what he
wants," says [forensic psychologist J. Reid] Meloy. "I have this image
in my mind of a 2-year-old squeezing a puppy's feet. He's attempting
to control the animal's behavior, and probably deriving some pleasure
from that."  
  
   — Hollow Men by Stephen G. Michaud  
  
    

A little child does this because her person-ality isn't fully
developed. Her sense of person-hood isn't differentiated so that she
distinguishes between your personhood and hers. Between that puppy's
living soul and hers. She's so brutal because while pounding Puppy she
feels no pain. All she feels is powerful. So Puppy might as well be a
nail she's hitting with a hammer. 

This is why parents must closely supervise that little child,
especially when vulnerable animals or other small children are around,
and teach her that other living beings have feelings of their own and
feel like she would if someone did that to her. She must be taught to
respect other living beings as beings in their own right and to
empathize with them. 

For whatever reason, psychopaths and narcissists never learn. 

How could they? They identify with their image — a work of fiction —
not their true selves. So, they don't relate to themselves as human
beings. They don't know the human being within. They don't know human
being. So, how can they recognize humanity in others? How can they
relate humanly to human beings? 

The narcissist doesn't conceive herself as of our kind: What god with
nothing but contempt for mere mortals does? So, expect no more regard
for your feelings from her alien mentality than you should expect from
an extra-terrestrial who abducts you to use as a specimen for an
experiment. No more than a lamb should expect from a wolf, a mouse
from a cat, a baby seal from a killer whale, or a cockroach from you. 

In other words, narcissists relate to us as predators do. 

And so perhaps they are right: they are NOT of our kind, humankind.
For, except in primitive species, predators don't prey on their own
kind. Because they identify with their own kind. They like their own
kind. That affinity makes predation unthinkable. What use of force we
observe among the members of a species is limited to what's necessary
to protect individual interests and goes not one step further. 

True, narcissists and psychopaths are not the only people who can turn
off their humanity. All people can turn it off like a light-switch,
thus becoming guilty of inhumanity. In fact, Man's inhumanity to Man
is an age-old theme of literature, and history is full of examples of
people turning off their human sensibilities en-masse, as during the
Holocaust or the Inquisition. What makes people with narcissistic
personality disorder (and psychopathy) different is that they have
theirs turned off permanently for everyone but themselves. 

And everyone means even their own children. Narcissists are as
unfeeling toward whomever they abuse as you or I are toward a spike we
are pounding with a sledgehammer. This is a hard truth to accept. 

The good thing about accepting it is that there is no hating such a
person. You can't hate what you can't relate to. You can no more hate
a narcissist for being a narcissist than you can hate a s**** for
being a s****. You don't take it personally when a s**** bites you.
Don't take it personally when a narcissist does, either. It wasn't
you. It wasn't anything you did. You were just there, that's all.
Handy. 

--


“A winner makes commitment. A loser makes promises.”

“The path of least resistance is the path of the loser.”